Dual....:-)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize