shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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