what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
