Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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