The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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