Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
