I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just wanna soil my oats bro
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
