3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
