Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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