does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
