Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
