Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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