Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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