I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
