can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
