I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
