physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
