You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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