I think I died a long time ago.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ugly people sure do ruin things
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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