Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
