She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
