Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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