thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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