I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
