i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
