Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
