u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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