guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
my liver is dry heaving
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
