You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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