Say something about gay babies.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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