I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
