Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
