im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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