Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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