i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
