He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
