Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
