im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
