He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize