she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
