BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
