So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
