I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
