what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
