Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
