Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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