I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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