I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
