tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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