Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
