He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
