i permit you to call me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
