she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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