Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sarcasm needs its own font
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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