last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
