i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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