I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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