Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
